Choosing Self-Compassion Over New Year’s Resolutions

 

January is often perceived as a month of "clean slate." It is a time when we are expected to immediately switch to maximum discipline following the Christmas holidays, start fulfilling ambitious goals and challenges that flood our social media feeds, and radically change our habits. For our mental health, however, the beginning of the year often represents one of the most demanding periods of all. As mentioned in the previous December article, Christmas is sometimes accompanied by stress rather than festive cheer, and it is no coincidence that our bodies are more likely to be in a phase of recession rather than a "fresh bloom" after the New Year.

Instead of showing understanding of our own fatigue, many of us resort to self-criticism. The moment we fail to fulfill our ideals right from the first of January, a sense of guilt sets in, further draining our energy. The aim of this article is to look at the January restart through the lens of psychology and neuroscience. We will explain why radical resolutions often hit the biological limits of our brain during this period, what impact self-criticism has on our hormonal system, and why the concept of self-compassion is a key pillar of true mental resilience. So read on for specific strategies on how to navigate the beginning of the year without unnecessary burnout.

The Neuroscience of Self-Criticism vs. Kindness

To understand why the pressure of New Year’s resolutions often paralyzes us, we must look at how our brain reacts to self-criticism. British clinical psychologist Paul Gilbert describes three basic emotion regulation systems that govern our experience: the threat system, the drive system, and the soothing system (Gilbert, 2009). When we place unrealistic demands on ourselves in January and subsequently punish ourselves for not meeting them, we primarily activate the threat system. From a neurobiological perspective, self-criticism is perceived as an internal attack – our brain does not distinguish between an external threat and the attacking thoughts we direct at ourselves. Consequently, the body releases the stress hormone cortisol, and all energy shifts to survival centers. A side effect of this "alarm" is the temporary suppression of the prefrontal cortex, the logical center of our brain responsible for planning, decision-making, and executive functions. Paradoxically, self-criticism traps us in a biological state where we lose the mental capacity needed to realize the very changes we strive for (Gilbert, 2014).

In contrast, a kind approach to oneself, professionally defined as self-compassion, activates the soothing and safety system. Research led by Dr. Kristin Neff confirms that self-compassion triggers the release of oxytocin and endorphins, which act as a natural counterpoint to the stress response (Neff, 2003). While self-criticism throws us into a defensive mode, an environment of internal safety allows the brain to stop exhausting itself by defending against its own reproaches and instead invest its energy more effectively into regeneration and adaptation to new goals.

Why We Might Run Out of Steam as Early as January

January is a period where high ambitions often collide with unexpectedly low energy levels. However, this is frequently not a result of weak will, but a phenomenon experts call ego depletion. Social psychologist Roy Baumeister explains in his theory that our capacity for self-control and discipline does not function like an infinite spring, but rather should be imagined as a muscle or a battery (Baumeister et al., 1998).

After the Christmas holidays, which can be emotionally demanding, our "tank" of will and motivation tends to be half-empty at the start of January. Research also shows that in a state of depletion, our brain is programmed to return to what is easiest for it—old, automatic habits. Expecting ourselves to maintain a radical diet or a new fitness regimen in this state is like asking a computer with 2% battery to run a full system update. It is not unattainable; it is simply beyond our current capacity.

How to Have a Kind New Start

Instead of ambitious and often unrealistic resolutions, psychology offers paths that nurture our motivation and perseverance rather than destroying them.

1. Validation: The first step to relief is acknowledging that it is okay not to feel energized at the beginning of the year. By stopping the fight with ourselves, we release the energy that the brain has previously consumed primarily on internal resistance and feelings of guilt.
2. Micro-habit Strategy: When we feel physically or mentally exhausted, our brain much more easily accepts a change that requires minimal effort. Instead of an hour at the gym, start with just a short walk. These small but easily achievable successes release dopamine and gradually "recharge" our battery of will without overloading it at the very beginning.
3. Listen to Your Body: In January, our bodies struggle with a lack of daylight, which can disrupt our internal biological clocks. Rather than overriding fatigue with caffeine, it is more effective to pause and consciously perceive the signals the body is sending. Tension in the shoulders or burning eyes are clear signals to rest. Regular sleep or long, quiet evenings are not a waste of time, but a prevention of deeper psychological and physical exhaustion.
4. Be a Good Friend to Yourself: Try to look at your New Year’s plans through the eyes of a kind friend. Would you place such strict demands on someone you love who is going through a demanding period as you do on yourself? Paradoxically, we are often much more empathetic toward others than toward ourselves, yet we should act with the same kindness in both cases.

Conclusion: January Doesn't Have to Mean a New Start

January does not have to be a period of headlong sprinting or a month of radical life transformations. It is perfectly fine if you do not want to change anything in your life with the New Year. Although the pressure for constant self-improvement is becoming stronger in the digital age of social media, the ability to appreciate what one already has is just as valuable as the pursuit of progress. Our satisfaction is not conditioned by achieving new goals, and if you feel happy in your life, staying in this state is a manifestation of stability and respect for your own needs.

If you experience states more serious than just January fatigue after the holidays, or if fatigue prevents you from normal functioning, these could be symptoms of depression or seasonal affective disorder, which require professional help. At the PSYMED clinic, we are ready to help you find your way back to balance.

 

About the Author: Jana Felklová Jana is a first-year master’s student in the Theoretical and Research Psychology program at Charles University in Prague. She views her work at Unicare Medical Center as a valuable opportunity to gain hands-on experience in the field of psychology while pursuing her studies.

 

References:

Gilbert, P. (2009). The Compassionate Mind: A New Approach to Life's Challenges. Constable & Robinson.

Gilbert, P. (2014). The origins and nature of compassion focused therapy. British Journal of Clinical Psychology.

Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself. Self and Identity.

Baumeister, R. F., Bratslavsky, E., Muraven, M., & Tice, D. M. (1998). Ego depletion: Is the active self a limited resource? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74(5), 1252–1265.